“I AM A FUCKEN LEGEND” … Ben

OK I really don’t want to sound vain or anything but the thing is I’m 22 going on 23, the clock is ticking and I’m not getting any younger so if you don’t like the title of this post then bite me 😀 . My life is passing me by and most of my hopes, dreams and aspirations are still jotted down in my journal waiting to be realized.

Wait, hold up…

That’s not the point of this post

My aim here is to preach to the congregation about confidence in life. See I’ve always considered myself a humble person, who is modest in his ways, quick to put any one else before me, never to put my needs in front of any one else’s. But the more I live, the more I reflect, the more I ponder on my life, the more I realize that I’m giving myself less credit than I deserve. And what I call modesty, humility and respect is probably more of self-pity, a feeling of unworthiness and overall lack of self-confidence.Why you ask? Why would I feel like this? Truth is I don’t know, I don’t know how I got here I don’t know how I have down-played myself and all of my achievements, my passion, my hunger and my utter brilliance. I don’t know why I’ve hid in the corner and toned down my voice, kept my opinion to myself and convinced myself that the world doesn’t need to hear little old me. Nah see, that’s not life, that’s not living, that’s just eating, breathing and wasting space.

See you only live once, that’s it, once and then you are gone forever!!!. Well, the temporary little you is gone but the ever-lasting inner YOU is still here,

 – wait sorry –

– again –

That’s also not the point of this post

All I want to get out of this here message is to tell you that you have to live your life and don’t let the world bring you down, hold you back or suppress the beast that’s lying within you – raging to get out. Don’t look around you, feel daunted and then run back into your hole, because everyone else out here is just trying to find their way as well. I know that as an extremely sensitive person I personally absorb other peoples words, thoughts, emotions, actions so easily and it has always made me second think, doubt and be-little myself too much, in far too many ways and far too many times, but then I realized that everyone out there is just living their life and I have to live mine to.

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You literally have to wake up, step out the house, hit your chest, do a war cry and be the best you that you can be.Without caring about what anyone else has to say (well, besides your mom…always listen to your mom). Life was here before you got here, life will be here after you leave, life doesn’t need you, life doesn’t want you, life doesn’t care about you, so don’t you for a second expect life to nurture you like a little baby. It’s harsh yes, but that’s something that I am learning everyday- I always used to think that the world is full of assholes, but as much as that might be true (we all know some assholes), its probably more true that the world is full of people who are a hell of a lot more confident than me – and honestly that’s what really, deeply pisses me off.

And I have come to realize that if I don’t know :

  1. Who I am.
  2. What I deserve.
  3. Where I deserve to be.
  4. Where I deserve to go
  5. What I deserve to have.

Life won’t bother showing me the script, neither will it spoon feed me the directions to the illustrious treasure pot at the corner of the rainbow, no…that won’t happen at all…(well..unless your tripping on acid or something…).

You might find this strange, but the funny thing is that I actually started doing this today and really works, while I was walking around the office and while I was driving home from work I repeatedly said the following mystical mantra to myself :

“I AM A FUCKEN LEGEND”

“I AM A FUCKEN LEGEND”

“I AM A FUCKEN LEGEND”

And it’s life changing I tell you, cause it reminds me to be me, to do me, to love me and to be fully confident in this me as well. So whatever your self-confidence mantra is – the point is that you must never let the world give you less than you deserve, cause there’s honestly no time for that.

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Success/Happiness in life = Preparation + Confidence + Luck

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 Now get out there and be a legend…you legend.

T4aM

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“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.” – Mahatma Gandhi

 

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