I am a 20 something year old part-time student, who’s had it good in my life. My mom gave me all she could, she got me my first car at 19, and I have had the best opportunities in life, a good education and just a way better than regular stern sturdy background.
So why is it that I keep on dating guys who turn out to be losers? I just don’t have a proper way or word to describe how I have continuously gone out of my way to be with men or boys, whatever you might call them that are beneath me. I’m just coming out of a relationship with a “beautiful guy” who has been arrested for armed robbery and has no tertiary education but is generally a good guy . . . Wow if I was someone else reading this I would be thinking that generally a good guy and armed robbery don’t really go well together.
I guess my problem is that I believe in fairy tales and right in the middle of a fairytale there is always drama. I’ve wondered why it shouldn’t be a Bonnie and Clyde story. I have watched too many movies where the bad guy gets the good girl and turns good .I am a stupid nurturer!! You know the woman that believes she knows his problem and will nurse him and guide him to the place he is supposed to be at. Maybe I should have just listened when a drunken friend said “Wait … you’re dating that guy? … Why? ”, when the line ‘you are worth so much more’ kept on being associated with my man .When little brother said “this loser is going nowhere and you already a queen, why the association big sis?”
Yes [I still do believe that he is a great man, just not for this woman]. He just is not that into me, and I am never going to get faithfulness or what I put in the relationship.
What the hell was I thinking?? Why did I not think “what am I doing here, how can I keep letting myself be associated with such an ass?” Well because the ‘ass’ came in an awesome package, because the ‘ass’ made my heart skip and bought me flowers and made me smile! Lord did he make me smile!! He made me feel like the world and introduced me his family. Honestly it was slow, this depreciation of character in to revealing his “assdom”. But the signs were there and each time I saw signs that indicated ‘200km to assdom’ I noted it but still moved forward with him.
That’s because I decided to turn a blind eye. That’s what I have been doing every time the glance on that girl’s ass is a whole lot longer than it should be. When he’s chilling in one end and I’m chilling in the other end of a party and there are just women all around him. When his Facebook statuses oozed I am a horny ass that just needs to get laid please!!! If only I had just remembered the quote from Maya Angelou [“when someone shows you who they are, believe them”]
It would have saved me from all the pain, and the 3kgs I gained from mourning.