Cheat codes in life aka ‘White Lies’

Cheat codes are just little white lies in the source-code to enhance the gameplay, not to hurt the game 🙂

At first, I thought I was being asked to write about lies white people tell. I quickly showed myself to the door, and rededicated myself to proving human intelligence. I realise I really don’t have to lie, but I find myself in a situation of panic when addressed, and my instinct is always to block and defend myself by tailoring my response to what the other would wanna hear.

My most current white lies

Her: Babe, what are you upto?

Me-lie: Writing a new post for v3rcity.com

Me-truth: Playing GTA 5, getting handsy with Infernus at the strip club when the bouncer isn’t looking so I can earn a “Romance-a stripper” achievement.

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Her: How did you sleep?

Me-lie: Like a baby gorilla!

Me-truth: What sleep? Spent 4 hours exploring planets so I could finish Mass Effect 3 with the highest galactic readiness achievable … for the 5th time … this year … But all is well because I am on reserve energ… *brain blue screen error*

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Parents: What time did you get in last night? Seemed pretty late.

Me-lie: Midnight.

Me-truth: Midnight … grabbed my jacket and was out again till 6 am, where I “woke up” to “get the newspaper”.


 

Friends: TGIF! Plans for night?

Me-lie: I have work tomorrow so wanna get some rest.

Me-truth: I have work tomorrow so I wanna play Tomb Raider till her shirt rips off in the middle of the jungle during a rain storm … or ocean … and finally finish the stupid horror game, so that I can finally focus on work!

 

Me: Have I played enough Mass Effect?

Me-lie: Yeah. Just finished Mass Effect 3. Can finally pack it up and shelf it.

Me-truth: Yeah. Can finally start again from Mass Effect 1 using an Asian chic.


 

Her: Why do you play GTA 5?

Me-lie: It has a good story rooted in firm morals of society where you have the choice to do good or bad.

Me-truth: It’s GTA 5?


Her: Are you on your way?

Me-lie: Yeah, gimme 10 min.

Me-truth: Yeah, gimme 10 min to try and finish this mission, then I’ll comb my hair, brush my teeth and dash to your place.


Workmate: What would you rather be doing now?

Me-lie: Home; resting my eyes. I have some serious sleep to catch up on.

Me-truth: Home; I left Hitman on pause, and I need to finish a contract before #KenyaPower do what they do best.


Stranger: Who are you?

Me-lie: I’m nobody. Just another government statistic that pays tax and shakes fists at politicians.

Me-truth: I’m BATMAN!

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