Technology Month: A whole month dedicated to my cup of tea, but I find myself just staring at the blank 2048×1024 px canvas, stirring a few unfiltered tea leaves round and round endlessly. What is there to say about technology? I’m happy that the canvas will auto-save any qwertylised art I paint on it. I’m angry I can’t throw random words and phrases at it, in hopes for an FTL (faster than light) production of an article for my beloved slave-driv… Editor!

Flexibility and Reach are no longer just fighting strategies or sexual advantages … they are the key concepts that technology has brought to us. The global spider web makes it easy for my words to be seen by virtually everyone. Google makes it easy for my words to be translated into any cat dialogue for all the cats posting their pictures n videos on Facebook and YouTube. In fact, technology has made it possible for cats to have their own little celebrity status by continuously giving new ways to go “aaaaaaw” and #dead.

The Egyptians must be glad that their once revered gods can finally compete with our modern social ones in music; #win and #fail pictures, humor and showing that they have too much time on their hands and too much battery life on their cameras. I wish I had the chance to speak to one of these famous cats that can sing or play the piano. I would even break words with the feline friends that where slices of bread on their necks.

If technology can help cats and humans alike, to reach millions across the world in different kinds of media, WHY THE HELL CAN’T IT BAN THESE JOBLESS IDIOTS FROM FLOODING THE NET WITH THIS GARBAGE? I mean, seriously, I know free-speech is a right, but technology is run by robots. Even their basic (by basic, I mean programming language, not minimum standard) reasoning should be able to tell when people are letting the human species down. Who breads cats, and makes it a trend? WHO?

“Skynet, please … go live. I’ll kill John Connor for you. This tech world isn’t worth saving.”

Can’t we have some Wireless-Idiot-Control-Device (patent pending) that zaps people before they fulfill their camera-cat-related visions? For example, if Miss Editor here decides next month is cat month … *LASER BRAIN ZAP* … Now that’s technology moving in the right direction.

Let’s concentrate on technology that makes us smarter, not lazier and dumber. When the aliens come, I want us to be proud of what we have to offer them in terms of engaging futuristic ideas of universal integration systems … unless they turn out to be cats, then I’ll be fine with what we have now!

P.S The only cat we should watch over and over again on the internet is Catwoman (Halle Berry, Anne Hathaway, The one from Arkham City™, etc). That’s the true definition of Reach and Flexibility.

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